Thursday, March 27, 2008

Photo ops

Today turned out to be temporary tattoo day in the promo department. Jen, Robyn and I (each of whom sport at least one genuine tattoo) had no trouble affixing our temporary tats to our arms and/or wrists. Patrick, who apparently has never been a little girl or enjoyed the treat from a box of Cracker Jacks, was unsuccessful in getting his tattoo to adhere. Amateur! I think my tattoo is especially appropriate, given the pallor of my skin -- a former roommate used to call me "pigmentally challenged."

I passed this sign outside a beauty salon the other day. What does it mean? Is such a service/treatment so special that it deserves its own mini-billboard?

Freakout book of the week

It looks and sounds so inviting, no? I mean, if you're a moderate treehugger, as I am. But inside, this book is freaky. First of all, although it's supposed to be a new edition and it has a brand-spanking new cover designed to catch the eye of coffee-swilling, recycling, suburban gardener types like me, the inside looks like it's straight outa 1975. Paging through this book reminds me that, as much as I enjoy my little fantasies of life on a hobby farm or in a secluded cabin, honestly, I'm best suited to life in the 'burbs. In my casual skim, I came across not one but TWO sets of diagrams on how to skin a rabbit! (Well, to be truthful, only one set was demonstrating how to do the skinning; the other was focused on gutting the rabbit so's you can eat it.) I stumbled across a recipe for headcheese but had to stop reading after I saw the first ingredient: "Head of a pig, calf, or lamb." I had to stop reading this book altogether when I learned that "welding a chain and making nails are basic skills." I'm nearly 42 years old and have never once needed either of those skills, so I'm guessing Back to Basics has a very different definition of "basic" than I do.

Geekout book of the week

Among the suggestions and sources: Cletus (from the movie Rollerball), Yllana (Queen of Outer Space), Teyla (Stargate Atlantis), Hideto (Godzilla, King of the Monsters), and Cayman (Battle Beyond the Stars). Schnakenberg also suggests the name Jor-El (from Action Comics #1) but, strangely, not that of Jor-El's more famous son, Kal-El, who is better known as Superman. Yeah, pretty geeky that I know that bit of trivia, but not as geeky as Nicolas Cage, who actually HAS a son named Jor-El.

Monday, March 24, 2008

The gang's all here

From left: Cameron, John, Erin, Norman, Mary, Sean, Noelle, Caroline and Karen. What a toothy, photogenic family I have!

Quote of the day

"I should really look into what it means when my goal is mediocrity and I am still constantly under-performing. " ~ Anonymous Coworker

Kinda sums up how everything is going these days.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Holy chocolate, Batman!


Early Easter greetings! My family is celebrating the Big Day this afternoon, with an enormous BBQ feast at Lucille's. Mmmm, don't ribs and peanut slaw scream "resurrection of our lord"? Tomorrow it's my annual viewing of Fiddler on the Roof (don't ask me why -- watching a long musical about Russian-Jewish life on Easter morning is just one of My Things), followed by burgers on the grill and my first stab at making The Barefoot Contessa's Outrageous Brownies.

A few years ago my birthday fell on Easter, and Norman, who I was still getting to know, gave me both a milk chocolate cross and the first two seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer on DVD. I wasn't sure about Buffy at that point, but the chocolate cross sealed the deal: he and I were destined to become great pals.

I am not a religious person, but I think even I would feel a little squeamish about gnawing the head off a chocolate Jesus.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Miscellany

Hmmph. Anyone who's anyone knows that Larry was the best Stooge.

***********

I rejoined Weight Watchers a few weeks ago. I haven't dropped many pounds yet, but I've been good about going to my weekly meetings. Yesterday, after I'd checked in and was waiting for the meeting to get underway, a woman walked in and loudly asked, "What is Weight Watchers? What's the difference between you guys and Jenny Craig?" It was five minutes to five, when the meeting was set to begin, and there was a line of people waiting to check in and get weighed. But Sheila, the group leader, patiently started explaining how Weight Watchers works. The prospective new member kept asking questions VERY LOUDLY, and I think it was obvious to everyone present that she was interested in losing a lot of weight very fast and as cheaply as possible.

All in all, no big deal, except that she had brought her two loud, obnoxious, fat children with her, and they kept running around and getting in people's way. Worst of all, they had been to the nearby Baskin-Robbins before they showed up, and each of them was eating a bowl of ice cream. I do my best never to be judgmental at Weight Watchers meetings, just as I hope other members will not be judgmental of me. But I couldn't help wondering if anyone would think badly of me if I slugged those two brats out of the way, stole their ice cream, and made a run for the exit.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Irish porn

Corned beef and cabbage.

Soda bread.
Irish stew.

Guinness cupcakes with espresso buttercream frosting.
Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Belated

I almost forgot: Today, How's Annie? turns two.

Ah, the terrible twos. Fair warning.

The bookselling world takes on Eliot Spitzer

I haven't been following this pathetic story too closely, but I was amused that even the bookselling world has a few words of advice for the former governor:

BookReporter has written a memo to Mr. Spitzer

AbeBooks presents The Hooker Prize

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

The word of the week

Nearly every day I come across an unusual word. Often it's one I have read but never heard pronounced; other times, it's a completely new-to-me word. My friend Norman is sometimes the source of this rich vocabulary -- he's the type of guy who routinely sprinkles gems such as inchoate, bifurcation, inter alia, and esuriently throughout his conversation and emails. Often, though, it's simply an arresting new term I come across in something I'm reading. And I do mean arresting: if the word is special enough, it will stop my reading dead in its tracks while I look up the definition and savor the sound and the mouthfeel of my new verbal acquisition.

This week's prized new word is MONDEGREEN. According to The American Heritage Dictionary (my favorite dictionary -- you should check it out), a mondegreen is "a series of words that result from the mishearing or misinterpretation of a statement or song lyric." I came across this term in a delightful new book I am reading, June Casagrande's Mortal Syntax: 101 Language Choices That Will Get You Clobbered by the Grammar Snobs -- Even If You're Right. You cannot buy this book right now because it hasn't yet been published. (I, of course, have My Sources. Sorry.) But if you enjoy reading about words and language, I highly recommend you pick up a copy when it comes out next month. It's great fun.

Ms. Casagrande's example of a mondegreen is using "for all intensive purposes" instead of the correct "for all intents and purposes." I laughed at the idiocy of that, until I started thinking about all the song lyrics I've misheard over the years. One that springs immediately to mind occurs in the Beatles' song "And I Love Her." The actual lyrics are, "She gives me ev'rything and tenderly," but for years I heard, "She gives me ev'rything internally." I know the Fab Four kinda got into the whole drug scene in the 1960s, so I guess I just imagined some cute hippie chick shooting Paul up. It made sense at the time. It still makes sense, and yet I've learned that I'm wrong.

Any mondegreens you've picked up along the way? Any shame-filled stories of how you learned of your error?

Monday, March 10, 2008

Book of the week

Originally published in 1936.

"Don't become a furniture wife. It's a very natural desire on your part to keep your drawing-room perfect, but don't fly into a rage if your husband goes in and generally upsets things. Scold laughingly, or better still head him off in some other direction. After all you must remember that it is his work or money that provides the room."

"Don't forget that, while a little modernity is perhaps pleasing, an excess of it is usually nauseation. No lady ever smokes cigarettes in the streets. To do this is to label yourself at least ignorant or fast."

"Don't forget that a clever woman can always be the power behind the throne, and that she usually gets what she desires by making her husband believe that the idea which she puts forward was originally his own. It has been truly said that the road to success is filled with women pushing their husbands along."

Whew. Thanks for the reminders, Bodelian Library reprints!

Saturday, March 08, 2008

Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.

Well, crap. I forgot to post yesterday. So much for March NaBloPoMo! Not that I had anything to write about, but I could have faked something. Ah, well, story of my life.

This afternoon Curtis and I are going to see 2001: A Space Odyssey at the lovely Egyptian Theatre. I have seen the confusing beginning of it and the interminable ending of it, but I've never watched the middle (i.e., "good") part, so I'm sort of looking forward to it. Actually, if you want to know the truth, I'm dreading it, but it's one of those flicks I need to check off my movie life list and I figure on the big screen at the Egyptian is the way to go. Who knows? Maybe I'll love it.

***********

UPDATE @ 6:14 p.m.: I overheard Curtis on his cell phone, telling his girlfriend, "Well, I just got back from seeing 2001 with Shandon. She didn't fall asleep, and I actually heard her say she liked it."

That's about it, in a nutshell.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

7 literary passages that I enjoy

1. from Something Happened by Joseph Heller

". . . there are long gaps in my past that remain obscure and give no clue. There are cryptic rumblings inside them but no flashes of recall. They are pitch black and remain that way, and all the things I was and all the changes and things that happened to me then will be lost to me forever unless I find them. No one else will. Where are they? Where are those scattered, ripped pieces of that fragmented little boy and bewildered young man who turned out to be me? There are times now when it seems to me that I may not have been any place at all for long periods of time. What ever happened to all those truly important parts of my past that no longer exist in my memory and have been ignored or forgotten by everyone else? No one will ever recall them. It is too late to gather me all up and put me together again. My life, therefore, is not entirely credible. I have trouble believing it."

2. from The Soloist by Mark Salzman

"As a rule, I try to avoid talking with anyone about the collapse of society. My own view is that apathy is an acceptable, if not admirable, stance because it actively reduces frustration and despair and to that extent makes the world a better place."

3. from Emma Who Saved My Life by Wilton Barnhardt

"Each night as I lay awake, looking at the ceiling, every breath would become a sigh, it would creep over me again, my loneliness, my meaning nothing to anybody. I would be so loyal to someone, so good to them, I would make them laugh all the time and forgive them anything and as for sex, if they'd just have it with me, I would make sure they didn't get out of bed all day, I would RUIN them for other people, I would show them what passion was put on this earth for, and all this was just centimeters below the surface, it was just waiting there to be released and I did not comprehend WHY it should be no one wanted to take this from me, to make even a token pass over these qualities...
"There I was chewing bland flavorless pizza and looking fat and washed out in the fluorescent light of Baldo's window reflection and I was all alone while everyone else in the world was out on a date or laughing or dancing or having fun or experiencing love in some form somewhere -- wait, focus on the thought: making love somewhere, in each other's arms, touching, another human being's face and lips just THAT far away before you kissed them, and this wasn't some special occasion but what some people, MOST people did every night, and there I was fat and older chewing on a pizza all alone, and instead of a simple I am very lonely, which would have sufficed, the mind burst through some kind of previously untried barrier and it told me: I have been lonely all my life."

4. from A Philosophical Investigation by Philip Kerr

"Only the prospect of death -- one's own, or of others, it makes no difference -- makes life real. Death is the one true certainty. When we die, the world does not alter, but comes to an end. Death is not an event in life."

5. from White Man's Grave by Richard Dooling

"But if God was hearing all of this, would He be quite annoyed and disappointed in Randall's preoccupation with money? Would He be insulted that the celebration of the mass had reminded Randall of cannibalism? Maybe God would think it was funny? Probably not. Laughter is satanic. It was invented after the Fall. God cannot laugh. Nowhere in the scriptures could Randall recall it saying, 'God laughed and said, "Why, that's the funniest thing I ever heard!"' . . . Maybe God cannot laugh because everything makes perfect sense to Him. No nonsense, no irony, no absurdity, no contradiction . . . To God, Groucho Marx was just another human thing making noises with his mouth. No wry, divine smiles, no sloppy raspberries. Not a day goes by without Him thinking: That's not funny."

6. from Daily Afflictions by Andrew Boyd

"You can understand your life only after it happens. Unfortunately, by then it's too late. The previous moment is already gone and the present moment is again incomprehensible. If you are to embrace your life as an evolving whole, you must think of yourself as a story -- admittedly, a highly biased and poorly researched pulp paperback that is constantly being revised and incrementally updated with no sign of when it will end or what the characters will do next, yet a story that is uniquely yours. Seeing yourself as a story helps you reconcile your forward motion and your backward gaze. It gives you hope that, at the very end, it will all somehow make sense, even if you break off in mid-sentence."

7. from A Pound of Paper by John Baxter

"Restoring a library book to collectable condition is like trying to return a Kentucky Fried Chicken to the state of health where it can lay an egg."

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

3 foods from my childhood that I miss

My sisters and I are all HUGE fans of this minestrone soup. It's the best comfort food in the world. Amazon sells Riviera's "restaurant style" minestrone soup, but I can tell by looking at the label that it's nothing like the original. This stuff looks pretty ghastly when you dump it out of the can: frankly, it resembles dog food. Even when you heat it up and mash up the chunks it still looks kinda hinky. But it's sooooo good with Ritz crackers and cheddar cheese on the side! It used to be easy to find at any decent-sized grocery store, but now we can only find it locally at a certain 99 cent store in Arcadia.

You can take Stouffer's mac 'n' cheese and chicken pot pie. Just leave me the corn souffle, please. My mom used to serve this as a side dish quite often when we were kids, and there were never any leftovers -- in fact, I remember picking the crunchy dried overflow off the sides of the plastic container after dinner. I can still find this at Gelson's, but man... it's highway robbery paying $5 for a frozen side dish. Still, it's worth it every once in a while.

NOT to be confused with Mother's taffy sandwich cookies. Bleccchhhh! Mom used to buy those all the time and I thought they were awful; the "creme" center used to burn my mouth a little, and it seemed the height of desperation for something sweet to eat one of those things. But once she bought the similarly-shaped Gauchos by mistake and I was in heaven -- they're peanut butter through and through, and just lovely dipped in either a glass of milk or a cup of coffee. Once I learned of their existence, I'd occasionally buy a package and hide it in my bedroom, a secret cookie trove I'd share with nobody. Every now and then I see them at the supermarket and they're readily available online.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

How to disappear a book

I found out about it around eight o'clock this morning: our new inventory control manager came downstairs looking for any and all copies of Margaret B. Jones's Love and Consequences, saying the publisher had recalled them. "There's some sort of James Frey-like thing going on," she told me.

"But the author's coming for a signing on Thursday," I said stupidly.

"I dunno what to tell you. The buyers said to pull all the copies before the store opens," Erin replied.

Sure enough, I quickly learned that the much-praised memoir is nothing but a pack of lies; the author, whose tour was immediately canceled, has proffered a teary apology. *Sigh* These outrages/recalls/apologies are becoming all too common in the book world; it's hard to feel hurt and betrayed by a lying author when all I really feel is exasperation at the extra work the book world has to do. By ten o'clock today, the stock had been removed from the shelves, all the signage around the store promoting the autographing had been removed, the website had been updated with Margaret B. Jones's event nowehere in sight, and a large promotional poster was taken off display and given to a co-worker who's an avid book collector and totally digs literary scandals.

Another one of my co-workers pointed out, wouldn't it cost the publisher (in this case, Riverhead, the same folks who brought you James Frey's A Million Little Pieces -- oops!) less to hire a factchecker than to pay a huge advance, print and distribute thousands of copies, send the author on tour, and then have to recall all of the books?

You might be able to catch our webmaster on the local ABC news this evening, expounding upon le scandale du jour.

From this week's PostSecret

I heart Dexter.

All I have to do is dream

Last night I dreamed I amputated both of my arms just below the shoulder. Although I don't remember the surgical section of my dream, there is no doubt in my mind that I performed the procedure myself. (Don't ask me how I removed the second arm.) The surgery took place in the garage of my childhood home. As I stood there, looking at my arms lying the trunk of my father's car, I felt no pain. I didn't think, "My god, I have no arms!" Instead, I thought, "Mom and Dad are going to be really angry when they find out. Well, it couldn't be helped." I briefly considered putting my severed arms on ice, thinking they could be re-attached at a later time, but then I realized what a sham this would be: my arms were never going to be part of my body again and I decided to throw them out. Mercifully, it was then that I woke up.

I looked up amputation in Garuda's Dreamer's Dictionary when I got to work this morning. Apparently it "always indicates emotional loss in the near future. Undergoing an amputation means separation from a loved one. Amputation of a hand means your actions are restricted; or that you are not 'sharing' enough with others.... Dreaming about amputation means that your life has been torn apart and your peace of mind is under attack. The part being amputated usually refers to parts of ourselves that haven't been functioning properly." So then I looked up arm and learned that "dreaming about having one arm missing: you are suffering from painful inhibitions." No word on having two arms missing. "The image of the arm represents your ability to express your emotions, thoughts, or needs, and to either realize or destroy them."

To be honest, I think the most telling part of the dream was that I was worried what my parents, both of whom died years ago, would think. But I'm not sure how to look that up in a dream dictionary.

Monday, March 03, 2008

A walk in the woods

Yesterday Norman and I went hiking in Millard Canyon, which is tucked away at the top of Altadena. It is probably named after the owner of the Millard House or her spouse, though I don't know how either of them got so famous they got a whole canyon, complete with waterfall, named after them.

The canyon itself is very serene -- hiking it, not so much. The path, at times, is barely present, and it is strewn with boulders and fallen trees. I am desperately out of shape and what should have been a pretty easy hike left me winded and sweaty.

On top of the world!

Slip slidin' away. At least he didn't fall down, like I did. Twice. P.S. Don't look at his dorky rolled-up cuffs.

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Out and about

The other night Norman and I took a long walk over near the Rose Bowl, and I was struck by how much more -- or at least how differently -- you can see things when you're on foot instead of in a car.

It was around 8:45 p.m. when we parked in front of the Gamble House, which, while certainly the most famous house in the vicinity, kinda gives you an idea of the quality of the neighborhood we planned to stroll through. Pasadena was a big winter resort town for the wealthy back in the early twentieth century, and that whole Rose Bowl-adjacent area seems to have been the well-to-dos' stomping ground. We walked down quiet streets lined with large, beautiful homes, some of them honest-to-goodness mansions, a few of them clearly designed by Greene & Greene. Many of the houses had 3 or 4 SUVs parked in their driveways. It was fun to stop and take in architectural details that we would have missed had we been whizzing by in a car. I admired the xeriscape landscaping in the front yard of a stately Spanish-style home; we both detested a castle-like McMansion that screamed "money" but seemed a more recent and ill-advised addition to the neighborhood. There were lots of fountains gurgling in the area, and two places seemed to have actual creeks streaming across their acreage. Despite the pleasantly cool and overcast evening, there were almost no other pedestrians about.

We came across what appeared to be a glorified alley called Prospect Crescent, and we were intrigued. It was pretty wide for an alley, and yet in the dim light we could see lots of alley-like things, like garages and trashcans. We decided to venture down it and see what happened; the fact that it was called "Crescent" suggested that it would curve around to meet the street we were walking at some later point, so we weren't too worried about getting lost.

Prospect Crescent, of course, proved to be full of gorgeous, expensive homes. Sometimes they faced out onto the street, and sometimes we were looking at the backs of houses on adjacent streets. Everything was quiet and dark, though we had little trouble seeing our surroundings because so much light was being reflected down by the dense cloud cover. As we rounded the final curve at the eastern end of the street, that's when we saw the unexpected.

It was a tall, narrow, monolithic house made of stone or concrete, and it appeared to be covered in tiles. We walked into the driveway and I touched one of the walls. They were made of concrete, not stone, and what looked like tiles was actually a pattern embossed all over the walls, from the base of the building, probably thirty feet below us and observable over a low wall, up to the roofline, which soared a good two stories over our heads. As for the roof itself, it appeared either to be in disrepair or missing altogether, as a huge tarp was stretched over the top of the house and held in place by long ropes tied to concrete blocks lying around the base of the building.

"This looks like one of those weird buildings Frank Lloyd Wright built during his California period," I said softly.

Norman whispered, "How much will you give me to go down that walkway into the yard?" I calculated how much money I had in my pocket and whispered back, "Five bucks." He waved off the paltry amount and walked down the path between the house and what I assume was the garage. I peeked down the path myself and beheld an enormous yard. I couldn't tell if we were at the front or back of the house. There was a light shining on the floor above us, but I had the feeling that the building is uninhabited. Nevertheless, I felt like we were trespassing, and any moment I expected some old, bent-over caretaker to appear with a lantern in hand.

"You kids get outta here!" I imagined him croaking. Then, holding the lantern higher, "Hey, you're older than I am. I'm calling the cops!"

It was rather thrilling to discover such a strange home on our walk, and yesterday at work I did a bit of research to figure out what we'd come across. Turns out, it was a Frank Lloyd Wright-designed building. It was built for Alice Millard in 1923-24, and consequently is known as the Millard House (or, sometimes, for reasons I haven't yet discerned, "La Miniatura"). It was the first building Wright constructed using a technique he called "textile block construction." I saw a documentary on Wright a few years ago and seem to recall that the walls built using this method were enormous, solid slabs of concrete that ran into major problems when they were put in place: cracking, settling unevenly, etc. Norman and I had noticed a few cracks in the concrete the night before and I wondered now how old they were. Online, I saw some photos of the house's interior, and it looks like a cold, uncomfortable place to live.

I wonder how many other strange, beautiful, unexpected things are lurking in this town?