This morning I came across a reference to that old game of creating your porn star name by combining the name of your first pet with the name of the first street you lived on.
I'm sorry, that just isn't going to cut it. Felix Hampton is not a porn star. He is a thin, ascetic, well-dressed collector of antiques and a gourmet cook. He is gay. He does not know how to drive, speaks Italian fluently, and adores jazz. In every way, he is not me.
But if you will allow me to combine the names of my second pet and street, things get a little more interesting:
Tiger Via Maderas.
Tiger gets up at noon after having gone to bed at 5 a.m. She doesn't cook because she doesn't want to -- someone will either treat her to a fabulous meal or she'll order Chinese delivery. She knows how to wear makeup and her hair always looks great, even when it's tousled. She's on the curvy side and doesn't care about losing 10 pounds. Her wardrobe: tight, sexy and timeless. She drives a Karmann Ghia, hasn't cracked a book since high school, and would rather gouge out her eyes with a nail file than listen to another jazz set. Tiger Via Maderas also isn't in the slightest like me (except for that last detail), but I like her better than I do Felix.
So... what's your porn star name, and what is he or she like?