Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Naming names

This morning I came across a reference to that old game of creating your porn star name by combining the name of your first pet with the name of the first street you lived on.

Felix Hampton.

I'm sorry, that just isn't going to cut it. Felix Hampton is not a porn star. He is a thin, ascetic, well-dressed collector of antiques and a gourmet cook. He is gay. He does not know how to drive, speaks Italian fluently, and adores jazz. In every way, he is not me.

But if you will allow me to combine the names of my second pet and street, things get a little more interesting:

Tiger Via Maderas.

Tiger gets up at noon after having gone to bed at 5 a.m. She doesn't cook because she doesn't want to -- someone will either treat her to a fabulous meal or she'll order Chinese delivery. She knows how to wear makeup and her hair always looks great, even when it's tousled. She's on the curvy side and doesn't care about losing 10 pounds. Her wardrobe: tight, sexy and timeless. She drives a Karmann Ghia, hasn't cracked a book since high school, and would rather gouge out her eyes with a nail file than listen to another jazz set. Tiger Via Maderas also isn't in the slightest like me (except for that last detail), but I like her better than I do Felix.

So... what's your porn star name, and what is he or she like?

7 comments:

Trooperdog said...

Cali Alta Oaks? Nope, that doesn't work. Molly Murray? No...she sounds a bit too conservative for porn. Mike 18th? I could twist that and make it work...but I won't. I just don't think this game works well with the names I would have to use!

When you get a chance, take a look at my latest blogpost and give me an answer to the question. I'm trying to get a wide range of answers. And anyone else who reads your blog is welcome to answer as well!

Curtis said...

Feel-XXX Humpton

Will said...

Duke Buena Vista...That could work.

kb said...

Benji Floral? Elmo Sierra Madre? How about T-Bone Esperanza? That's probably my best one!

Thom Singer said...

Here is one for you (and you must share this with Trooper, She Blogger and KWB...as they will all laugh)

My porn star would be.....

Margo MonteVerde

She sounds very european. More of a high priced call girl than a porn star.

Anonymous said...

Spooky Belcrest

Not gonna work, is it? What was next . . .

Clyde Bates

No.

Molly Oakdale

Jeez, that's like a Nancy Drew name.

Emma Las Lunas

Closer.

Snappy Bliss

Well, that just made me laugh.

lindaurban

Anonymous said...

Oh yeah, Ms. Kitty Giles! Suck it, baby! Ah, erh, I mean, RRRowww!