Norman is facing the prospect of jury duty next week, and he's not too interested in participating in our nation's legal system. (Having walked away from what I'm sure was a thrilling career in litigation, I'd say he's already participated in the legal system and made his final statement as to what he thinks of it.) Yesterday he emailed me his fantasy scenario for getting excused:
Norman (screaming while going through the security checkpoint): Fry 'em. Fry 'em all!
Overeducated Civil Servant Wage Slave: Sir, notwithstanding your behavior, this is civil court.
Norman: Your point being? Give 'em all the chair. The lawyers and judge first.
OCSWS: Sir, if you don't calm down, you may be held in contempt.
Norman: I live in contempt.
OCSWS: Or even incarcerated.
Norman: That seems like an extreme reaction. I just wanna go home. To the prison that is my life.
OCSWS (melting w/ pity): OK, sir, we'll take care of this.
Norman: Oh, thank you, officer is it? You do know I always support the troops, police and whatever it is you are. Some kind of glorified security guard?
I think you have to agree I'll skate right out of there on charm alone.
I wished him the best of luck and advised him to bring a good book.