I... I'm strangely attracted to this horrifying idea

Today I received an email from the lovely Eden Kennedy, founder of NaBloPoMo, informing me of an insane new project: Blog 365. The idea is to try to post to your blog every day in 2008 (except for February 29 -- that's the one vacation day of the whole year). The "rules" sound pretty relaxed: pictures and videos are fine, post a day later if you can't get to a computer, etc. Still, I sometimes have a hard time finding anything to write about even once a week. The thought of having to come up with some kind of content EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR A YEAR strikes me as bloody awful.

And yet, I am considering it.

The books that sold

A statistic that gets tossed around in bookselling circles every holiday season is that something like 50% of all adult Americans report that they would like a book for Christmas. I think that's a lie: I don't think that many Americans are reading books this or any other year. Still, we sold a lot of books this past month. Here are our top ten bestselling titles for December (so far -- I suppose something dramatic could happen to upset the list in the next week, though I doubt it):

T Is for Trespass by Sue Grafton

Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India & Indonesia by Elizabeth Gilbert

Zagat Los Angeles 2008

This I Believe: The Personal Philosophies of Remarkable Men & Women by Jay Allison & Dan Gediman

California Mosaic by the Pasadena Junior League

Born Standing Up: A Comic's Life by Steve Martin

Good Dog. Stay. by Anna Quindlen

I Didn't Know That: From "Ants in the Pants" to "Wet Behind the Ears" - The Unusual Origins of the Things We Say by Karlen Evins

The Power of Kindness: The Unexpected Benefits of Leading a Compassionate Life by Piero Ferrucci

At Home Pasadena by Jill A. Ganon et al

I like this list. I like its idiosyncrasy and local flavor. Best of all, I like the fact that The Power of Kindness, a sweet little book with a pretty cover that I pushed because I liked the look of it, sold over 150 copies in less than a month.

Stupid customer conversation of the week

Two women are standing in front of a large display of bookmarks.

Woman #1: What are these?
Woman #2: They're bookmarks.
Women #1: Well, what do you do with them?
Woman #2: ...
Woman #1: Well?
Woman #2: You put them in the books.

A Step Behind

This is tragic. Not even Christmas yet, and I'm forced to rely on memes for blog content. This one, however, is pretty fun, even though it appears to have been created by a 14-year-old girl. I stole it from Inspired Hippie, and the way it works is, you put your iPod/MP3 player on shuffle and hit "next" to find the song title that answers each question. No cheating.

If someone says, "Is this OK?" you say:
"Hush" by Deep Purple

What would best describe your personality?
"I Can Let Go Now" by Alison Krauss

What do you like in a guy/girl?
"Mr. Sellack" by The Roches

How do you feel today?
"Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane

What is your life's purpose?
"One More Girl" by The Wreckers

What is your motto?
"Cryin' But My Tears Are Far Away" by The Knitters

What do your friends think of you?
"High" by James Blunt

What do you think of your parents?
"Hurricane" by Mindy Smith

What do you think about very often?
"Other Side of the World" by K.T. Tunstall

What do you think of your best friend?
"The Walk" by Imogen Heap

What do you think of the person you like?
"Hold On, Hold On" by Neko Case

What is your life story?
"The Story" by Brandi Carlile

What do you want to be when you grow up?
"Postcards from Mexico" by Girlyman

What do you think when you see the person you like?
"Where Were You?" by Jonatha Brooke

What do your parents think of you?
"Monsters and Angels" by Voice of the Beehive

What will you dance to at your wedding?
"Since U Been Gone" by Kelly Clarkson

What will they play at your funeral?
"It Matters Now" by Jonatha Brooke

What is your hobby/interest?
"Give Me Novacaine" by Green Day

What is your biggest secret?
"Falling Slowly" by Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova

What do you think of your friends?
"Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol

What should you post this as?
"A Step Behind" by Teddy Thompson

The Golden Compass: 3-word review

1. See
2. Juno
3. instead

Scariest moment? Nicole Kidman's entrance, and the first glimpse of that enormous, unlined, unmoving, Botoxed forehead.

Christmas meme

My sister Susan tagged me with this meme. I won't tag anybody myself, but anyone who wants to steal this should feel free -- and then let me know, because I love finding out about people's holidays traditions and memories.

Wrapping paper or gift bags? Either/or. This year I refused to buy new paper and vowed I would use up whatever paper and bags I already have. Thus people may be getting gifts in birthday or Easter wrap.

Real tree or artificial? Real.

When do you put up the tree? About 10 days before Christmas.

When do take the tree down? New Year's Day. It always depresses me a little.

Do you like eggnog? Very much. Too much, probably. It's great spiked with a little Kahlua.

Favorite gift received as a child? A dollhouse I received when I was 11. I had asked for a camera that Christmas and was at first disappointed by the dollhouse, which had to be built from scratch from a kit and couldn't be enjoyed for months; once the construction was underway, though, I fell in love with that dollhouse and had it for many years.

Do you have a nativity scene? No.

Hardest person to buy for? It varies from year to year. This year it's probably my niece Erin, whom I don't see very often or know well, and whose parents have thus far failed to give me any good gift suggestions.

Easiest person to buy for? See above. This year, my nephew Jake. Thanks for the ideas, Susan!

Worst Christmas gift ever received? I've never gotten anything really terrible.

Mail or email Christmas cards? Mail. We've got to get them out this week! They're the first photo cards we've ever done, and I think they came out looking terrific.

Favorite Christmas movie? It's a toss-up between It's a Wonderful Life and The Apartment.

When do you start shopping for Christmas? Early December, unless I happen to see something earlier than that.

Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Eggnog, fudge, peanut butter Rice Krispie treats. Oh, hell, the holiday is mostly an excuse to stuff myself with sweets.

Clear lights or colored on the tree? We have tiny clear lights with pinecone-shaped covers, which give the tree a lovely amber glow and a rustic look.

Favorite Christmas song? "In the Bleak Midwinter."

Do you have an angel or a star on top? A star.

Travel at Christmas or stay home? Again, it varies from year to year. This year we're celebrating with Sean's family in Santa Barbara on Christmas Eve and with my family at my sister Mary's house in Sierra Madre on Christmas day.

Can you name Santa's reindeer? Yes.

Most annoying thing about this time of year? The crowds.

Favorite Christmas memory? My dad used to give us "table gifts" on Christmas night. At dinner that night, a little pile of gifts would sit in the middle of the table with a ribbon from each running to a card with each person's name on it (thus, assigned seating). After dinner but before dessert, we'd open the gifts. They were always silly things that Dad had picked out especially for us, and he'd often have a funny story or comment to accompany each gift. I can remember getting a deck of fortunetelling cards, a plastic pipe you could blow through that would make a little foam ball hover in the air, a book light, and a gum ear.

Favorite thing about this time of year? Spending time with family and friends.

Nothin' doing

Sorry this blog has been so neglected this month. Every day I'm busy -- working like crazy, going to parties, seeing movies, shopping for holiday gifts, trying to keep the household from falling apart -- but little of it seems to be worth writing about. This morning I was so desperate for material that when I found out Curtis was going to wait outside a local Target in hopes of snagging a Wii, I asked him to take a camera to capture photos of the melee and to consider writing a guest post about his hairy experience. He agreed, only to return with Wii in hand, no pictures, and the pleasant but unexciting news that there was no mob and the Target team members seemed well-prepared and organized.

I don't even have any customer horror stories to share. There's still a week until Christmas, so the customer from hell may yet surface, but as of now practically everyone I've dealt with has been a sweetheart. The most annoying customer I've encountered was a fellow who called this morning to order some Joel Osteen books, and I simply could not wrap up the conversation. He sounded like an old coot, but he cheerfully volunteered the information that he's but 10 years older than I; if this is what the next decade of life has in store for me, kill me now, please. He went on and on about his nine grandchildren and his wife of 23 years and, most painfully and drawn out, his philosophy of life, which seemed positive and life-affirming, but I don't need it at ten in the morning with a line of customers waiting, you know? After I'd gotten his charge and shipping information and could see the end in sight -- I'm generally good at closing the sale -- he asked if he could tell me a Christian joke. I said okay, figuring, what's another ten seconds of life I'll never get back? He proceeded to tell me a loooong and unfunny joke involving Jesus, Moses, and golf. I saw the punchline a mile off and had a hard time mustering a chuckle when he finally reached it. By now the line of customers had disappeared, all helped by co-workers who happened by, so I lied to the fellow when I said I had other folks to help and was finally able to hang up. I should count myself lucky if this is the worst I have to deal with all holiday season, but at least a tyrant or a hysteric could make for fun reading.

Yesterday I got a haircut. I always make appointments for Norman and myself to get haircuts at the same time, and somehow Curtis C., our hairdresser, has gotten it into his head that we are married. At some point last year I told him, "We're just friends," but he either didn't hear me or didn't believe me. For months now we have squirmed whenever he says anything marriage-related and carefully phrased our answers so that we're not exactly lying to him, though we can't figure out how to 'fess up; the moment to correct the situation appears to have come and gone and is now receding rapidly into the past, and it would be pretty awkward to try to straighten him out now. I've decided to stop worrying about it and just go along because Curtis C. gives us what seems to be a family discount on our haircuts, and neither of us wants to spend any more money on hair care than we have to, as we can both be cheap bastards; it's kind of like that Seinfeld episode in which Courtney Cox pretends to be Jerry's wife so she can get a discount on her drycleaning. I guess we'll continue the charade until one of us slips up and Curtis C. realizes he's been had.

I had a lot of hair chopped off and it looked fine yesterday. Today I took a curling iron to it and ended up looking like June Allyson, which is not my ideal celebrity comparison.

This is so bullshit, but it made my day

You are Bettie Page

Girl next door with a wild streak You're a famous beauty - with unique look And the people like you are cultish about it

What Famous Pinup Are You?

Contact

On Saturday morning, when I got to work, I found a strange memo from the store manager in my inbox:

"For staff who would like to talk to someone during this sad and difficult time, the following resources are available."


This was followed by a list of grief counselors. The memo continued:

"Also, everyone should feel free to talk to a manager or supervisor or to me, my door is always open to you, if you need to ask for time off, or need to talk, or have questions, or need someone to listen. This has been a shock to everyone, and a stressful event, and most of all a very sad thing to have happen. Please everyone take care of yourselves and each other during this time."


What in the world had happened? I had worked for a couple of hours on Friday morning and everything was fine. Clearly something terrible had happened later that day. I found the IT guy, who'd been there all day Friday, and asked him what was going on. He said that late Friday morning, a new seasonal hire in the customer service department had a seizure and passed out, and no one could revive her. The paramedics came and tried to revive her for 20 minutes but couldn't, so they took her to the hospital. She died. She was 21 years old and either no one knows the details of what happened, or they're all being professional and circumspect by not disclosing anything too personal about this girl. I asked the IT guy if her knew her name. When he told me, I drew a complete blank; I don't think I ever was introduced to her. I later learned that she had been employed for a week-and-a-half and that she'd only worked five shifts when she died. The store manager later said she doubted I had ever even seen her. Nobody at the store could have gotten to know her well in such a short time. She was surrounded by strangers when she died.

I couldn't help thinking about my poor co-worker, whoever it was, who had to call this girl's parents and tell them what had happened. I started wondering (because I am morbid, I admit it) what it would have been like if I had been the one who collapsed. Which poor soul would have had to call my loved ones and break the terrible news? I realized with a start that Sean had left his cell phone at home on Friday, and I know I haven't updated my contact information with his most recent work number, so no one here would have been able to reach him. Who was the next person on my contact list? Probably my sister Mary, for whom I also have not provided a current phone number. I didn't even know who I have listed after Mary. I decided to check in with our HR person this morning and update my emergency contacts.

When I looked at the form, it was worse than I'd thought. I had our old apartment number (where we haven't lived for 8+ years) and a cell phone number I didn't even recognize listed for Sean. For some reason, I'd listed my sister Susan instead of Mary, and her info was completely out of date. Worst of all, my number one contact was my dad. Dad died in 2001. When I handed the corrected form back to the HR person, she said that 3 other people had updated their contact information over the weekend, too.

The whole incident made me think of two things. The first was a Loudon Wainwright III song called "Donations," in which he tells a friend that he is an unmarried orphan who's estranged from his children, so can he list the friend as his emergency contact? On my new contact list, I listed my husband, then my sister, and then my best friend Norman; I feel now as if I have all my bases covered. The other thing I thought of was a particularly depressing episode of Six Feet Under, in which a woman who is utterly alone in the world dies. (She chokes to death while she's eating dinner alone in her apartment -- it's a secret fear of mine that the same thing will happen to me.) She has no parents, no siblings, and no friends to speak of. She works as a temp and none of her co-workers know her. Her neighbors don't know her. There's no one to take care of her worldly goods or attend her funeral. I got a little choked up filling out my contact information, thinking how lucky I am that at least three people would care and want to know if something bad happened to me.

Book of the week

It's probably too on the money, but it made me laugh. It gives me hope that it's, you know, not too late.

Quote of the day

"On the sure to bring bad luck scale, watching another guys porn in his old room is probably as close as you can get to building your house on a Native American burial site."

~ Will of Be the Boy

Sap

This morning, I had to find out who was performing the Christmas songs we've been listening to in the store all week. The mystery singer has a soaring, untrained-but-passionate voice reminiscent of Andrea Bocelli. His rendition of "Silent Night" is masterful. The receptionist told me it was Josh Groban, and I found a copy of his CD Noel on the music display. I stared into his soulful dark eyes and admired his carefully tousled locks. I put the CD in my box and caught the book department manager's eye as I did so. I smiled guiltily.

"I have a feeling there's a certain cheese factor here that I don't know about," I said.

He took the CD and regarded it solmenly before handing it back to me. "I'd say there's a cheese factor of about three," he said.

"On a scale of one to ten?"

"No. One to three."

Success!

Actually, I managed 40 posts in 30 days. I looked on the NaBloPoMo website this morning and learned that I am eligible to win a prize! Who knew? If I'd been aware that there was a possibility of my winning more than the satisfaction of having posted to my blog every day in November, I wouldn't have moaned so much about having to come up with something every freakin' day.

Yesterday, while checking in with the various new blogs I have discovered through NaBlo*, I learned via Shea at Cake and Icing that December is Holidailies month, which is pretty much the December version of NaBloPoMo. I seriously thought about signing up for it -- hey, maybe there are more prizes involved! -- but its organizers seem to have too many rules. For instance, they strongly discourage posting more than once a day, to which I respond, "Huh?" It's like telling a hardworking student not to bother with the extra credit assignment, even if she's only doing it for fun. I much prefer NaBlo's loose, hey-just-get-something-out-there approach. So I'll give Holidailies a pass and return to my irregularly scheduled random topic posting. Thank you, vast readership, for continuing to read during this difficult time.

*Please be sure to check out the new additions to "Blogs I Like."