World domination for beginners

This past weekend, Team Biscuits & Gravy rallied for their fifth annual entry in the 48-Hour Film Project. The film came in at exactly seven minutes, plus credits, was completed on time and was -- mostly -- turned in on time. (More on that eventually.)

Sean and Curtis drew superhero as their genre. They'd already made a superhero flick back in 2002 and they wanted something fresh, so they opted for one of the "wild card" genres and drew historical fiction/period piece. Every team that participates is given the same three required elements -- a character, a prop, and a line of dialogue -- so that no one can start early. This year's elements were Frederick or Frieda Laino, an exchange student; a bumper sticker; and "Hey, my mom gave me that."

It took longer than usual to work out the specifics of the plot. Usually the story is formulated by a committee of B&G regulars and the script written by Sean and Curtis on Friday night, filming takes place on Saturday, and Sunday is reserved for editing and scoring. This past weekend, the boys woke up Saturday morning not knowing how their story would end, though they quickly wrapped up the screenwriting that morning. The scenario: a school for supervillains set in Cold War-era Russia.

Sean was cast as a hulking, mute villain.

Look at that sweet face. Does he look like a villain to you? He and Curtis decided that his look would be most effective if he shaved off his beard. Sean was pretty nonchalant about it, but I was freaked out. He's had a beard, or at least a goatee, for the last 17 years or so. He was clean-shaven when I met him, but I've gotten awfully used to that facial hair.

Sean in mid-shave. Ouch, he's drawn blood!

Baby face.... you've got the cutest little baby face.... It's the face I fell in love with so many years ago. Sean is unnerved by how small his mouth looks when he isn't smiling. This is a terrible picture of him, by the way -- he is much better-looking in real life.

Lesley and Curtis get their first look at Sean's clean-shaven mug.

The studio where we shot Cold War (working title). We've never had access to actual sets before, but our friend Dolly emailed Sean and said she's the property manager here and told us we had access to anything that wasn't already in use by another production. This studio, which looks like an anonymous office building, is in downtown L.A. on a small side street and turned out to be a fabulous boon to the production.

This is half of the set the boys chose to use.

And this is the other half. The low ceiling, stark lighting, dirty white tiles, and echoing effect were just perfect. Perfectly eerie.

John waits to get in front of the camera. He has the most interesting face of anyone I know, and he always commits fully to any role he plays, no matter how small.

Ready for his close-up. He was strangely attached to those stuffed animals.

Ralph, as another archvillain, and John relax before filming begins. Ralph is a total sweetheart and about as unvillainish in real life as anyone I've ever met. John -- well, he's a sweetheart, too, but I would believe it if someone told me he had a secret, not-so-sweet life. He's complex, that John.

Genie, the makeup artist, dabs some cover-up on Sean's razor burn. That thousand-yard stare of Sean's is creepier than anything in the finished film.

The villains assemble. From the left we have Sean H. as the villains' instructor, Dolly as his assistant, Josh as the exchange student, Sean, Veronika as a femme-fatalish villain, Curtis with the camera, Ralph, and John. At this point filming commenced and I was kicked out of the room, so I don't have any action shots. Sorry.

Genie applies a scar to Tricia while Veronika makes do with a more natural look. Tricia was thrilled because this was the first time she'd ever worn scar makeup, and Genie was thrilled because this was the first scar she'd made since finishing makeup school.

Tricia fully made up. This is a pretty crappy shot so you can't see that it's a switchblade she's holding to her chin and not just a pencil or something. How Tricia loved that scar! She wore it out to dinner after we finished shooting, and then home to show her husband.

Dolly, property manager extraordinaire and genuine cutie. She just happened to have black patent leather fuck me pumps and this lace-up vinyl vest in her personal wardrobe. I didn't ask.

The required prop.

So. On Sunday Sean and Curtis worked like mad to trim over an hour of footage down to seven minutes. Around midday, they showed me, Lesley and Ian (the latter of whom were acting as producers) a 12-minute cut of the film that was very funny. Over the next few hours they labored to trim five minutes out. The finished product is fun and slick, but an awful lot of good material was lost in the editing -- honestly, some of the actors' best bits ended up on the cutting room floor. But it was an acceptable length for the 48-Hour Film Project so they put it out to tape so Curtis could rush it from Pasadena to West L.A. on his motorcycle. Sean would follow with a second backup copy.

The only problem was, the first copy they made was flawed -- there were both sound and picture glitches on the tape. Maybe the tape was bad. Maybe there was a problem with the firewire. Who knows? Anyway, Curtis hopped on his bike and sped off while Sean made a copy to DVD, a perfectly clean copy. He, Norman, Veronika and I got in my car and raced out to West L.A. knowing that we would be turning in our copy late but hoping the 48HFP folks would accept the later copy as the entry.

No such luck. When we got there, they told Sean and Curtis they could screen the first, flawed copy for audiences in competition, or they could screen the late copy out of competition. Sean and Curtis tried to withdraw the film completely, but the organizers talked them out of taking it out of the project -- at least for the moment. As of right now, it's all up in the air whether or not the film, now entitled World Domination for Beginners, will be a part of this year's 48HFP competition. I'll let you know what happens...