Smokin'

Tragedy struck yesterday when an entire pan of thick-cut bacon was burned to a crisp due to the inattention of the chef, who was chopping onions and humming Neko Case tunes to herself. Only the blaring of the smoke alarm caused her to look up and ask the all-important question: "Huh? Whassat?" Fortunately, total disaster was later averted when the same chef managed to spill half a baking sheet of roasted potatoes onto the floor, thus restoring the proper bacon-to-tuber ratio in the potato salad she was preparing.