When Feral Mom tagged me for this, I thought I was going to have a hard time coming up with 10 Things I Hate. “Hate” is a pretty strong word, after all. A list of 10 Things That Irritate Me Plenty would be a breeze. But the more I thought about it, the easier it became to identify things that I Really Do Hate After All. So, in no particular order:
1. Rap, hip-hop, whatever you want to call it. It’s not music, so stop clogging up the music airwaves with it. You want rap, tune into your local performance art station. And keep the volume down, kids.
2. Makeup. Not on others – on me. I can’t stand the way it feels on my skin, and my rare attempts to apply it usually end badly. I’ve been virtually makeup-free since my college days, much to my relief and everyone else’s distress.
3. Reality TV. I just don’t get it. It’s all terrible, and the worst offender is American Idol. (Strangely enough, though, I have a secret fondness for a couple of Kelly Clarkson tunes.)
4. Tomatoes, cucumbers, and melons of all sorts. As my friend Kathleen says, “So, basically, you don’t like anything that’s refreshing.” My life would be much easier if I did like these foods, since they're everywhere and in everything, but I don’t and there’s not much I can do about it besides go all Sally when ordering in a restaurant.
5. I Heart Huckabees. That movie was awful.
6. Hard butter, especially when it’s served in fancy restaurants. Here you are, all dressed up (though makeup-free), ordering a meal that will cost more than a week’s worth of home-cooked dinners, and the waiter brings you butter in a little ice-filled dish. What is that? How are you supposed to spread that on your bread without tearing it to shreds? I know it’s supposed to be elegant, but it’s just thoughtless.
7. “One size fits all.” That is a lie.
8. Sweating. My least favorite not-fresh feeling and the #1 reason I have no exercise regimen.
9. Insomnia. Why can’t I sleep at night? God knows I’m exhausted from not being able to sleep any other night, so why does my body refuse to just cave in and get some rest?
10. Bad drivers. Yeah, yeah, I know the saying: The only thing all Americans have in common is that we all think we’re better than average drivers. But I know I’m better than some of the morons out there.
I know ~Lucy and Norman can be filled with rage and hate, so I'm tagging them, as well as kindly Trooperdog. And Will, I don't know you well, but I think you should give it a try, too.