Jane Austen has officially jumped the shark

Merry Christmas!

Visit Sketchy Santas for more holiday cheer!

Do you believe?

Sean's nephew Dylan is nearly ten years old, and apparently this is the first year he has really questioned the existence of Santa Claus. Kids these days seem to hold onto the idea of Santa a lot longer than they did when I was a child; granted, I was a disbeliever from an exceptionally young age, but it seems as if all my friends had joined me in skepticism if not outright disbelief by the age of eight. At any rate, Dylan has been expressing concerns for some time now, and this year he wrote Santa a secret letter which he wouldn't let his mom see. She managed to sneak it away from him and read it before it was mailed. (I think she actually kept the letter and substituted a blank piece of paper in the envelope, believing the original is something Dylan will want to have for his own someday.) In his note, Dylan flat-out asks Santa if he is real and to give him some sort of sign. Dylan's mom asked Sean if he could compose a response, using his beautiful calligraphy skills, that wouldn't dash Dylan's hopes but would let him down easily. Sean obliged yesterday, writing an elegant letter in calligraphy highlighted with both silver and gold ink. It's a letter that I know Dylan will treasure forever.

Dear Dylan,

I understand that you have some doubts about Santa Claus being real. I am writing to you in the hopes you will understand the special way that Santa Claus lives as the Spirit of Christmas. I know that it may be difficult to find an answer that will satisfy both your curiosity and your faith in the Christmas spirit. As you suspect, Santa Claus is not flesh and blood, or alive in the way that ordinary people are alive. But Santa Claus is kept alive in people's hearts and imaginations as an important symbol of the spirit of giving and joy at Christmas time. Some people think that grown-ups don't believe in Santa Claus, but of course they do when they do so many things to keep Santa Claus alive as the Spirit of Christmas. Your faith in Santa Claus is a sign of your open heart and your generous spirit. Even if you will no longer believe in the jolly man in the red suit, I know that the Santa Claus that is the true spirit of Christmas will continue to live in your heart.

Merry Christmas,
St. Nick

The book-of-shame swap

Over at She-Blogger, Lucy reveals the big book she's always felt guilty about never having read: Little Women by Louisa May Alcott. I was surprised when she told me a few months ago that she had never been able to get into that novel, because 1) she's unquestionably well-read when it comes to the classics, and 2) it's a childhood favorite of mine and I've always kinda assumed that anyone (or at least any girl) who's a serious reader would have read and loved it as a kid. Lucy has decided that 2010 is the year she will finally make it through Little Women, and she has issued me a challenge in the form of a book-of-shame swap: if she reads Little Women, then I need to read Pride and Prejudice.

I know! How lame is that? A career bookseller with an English degree and I've never read any Jane Austen. I hereby promise that, sometime in 2010, I will finally tackle Pride and Prejudice. Lucy also wants to read Daphne du Maurier's Rebecca in the coming year, and I may join her in that little adventure -- the movie is a favorite of mine, but I've also never read the novel.

Stocking stuffers

Corn Cob Jelly

Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific!

Thank You for Pot Smoking Bumper Sticker

Monkey-Picked Tea

Delicious Onion Ring Mints

Handerpants

Slingshot Flying Chicken with Cockadoodle Scream Sound

Getting my geek on

Have you been watching The Sing-Off? NBC keeps pushing it as "American Idol meets Glee," which is a good comparison, although it must hurt them like the dickens to have to mention another network's shows. It's a competition that pits a cappella singing groups against one another. The judges are Ben Folds, Shawn Stockman of Boyz II Men, and some idiot girl from the Pussycat Dolls. I wouldn't have even known about it if my pal Norman hadn't mentioned it, since I rarely watch network television; now I'm glued to my TV every night, wondering who will win the $100,000 prize and the Sony Records recording contract. Right now my money's on Nota, a six-member, all-male group from Puerto Rico -- they are awesome.

Right about now you may be thinking, "Recording contract? A cappella music?" Trust me, there's a vibrant a cappella community out there. CASA, the Contemporary A Cappella Society of America, is sort of the umbrella organization for groups that perform pop, rock, hiphop, etc. sans instruments. The Barbershop Harmony Society supports a different sort of a cappella (Sean and I insist on calling that organization by its old name, The Society for the Preservation and Encouragement of Barbershop Quartet Singing in America, or SPEBSQSA [pronounced speb-SKEW-sa], because, well, what a mouthful!). You can find a cappella groups that perform nothing but old English madrigals, Christian music, or classical pieces. A few years ago I spent a fantastic day at the Ford Amphitheatre attending World A Cappaellafest, where something like a dozen groups, including heavyweights Rockapella, The Nylons, and The Blenders, performed for a big, enthusiastic crowd; I even got to meet Deke Sharon, president of CASA and a member of The House Jacks, during intermission! Heaven knows I love me a great vocal soloist, but there is nothing that compares with three-part or greater vocal harmony. The human voice is truly the greatest instrument ever.

I was in choir all though junior high and high school, which probably explains my fondness for Glee, Fox's cheerfully dumb but delightful version of High School Musical. In junior high we had something called Mixed Chorus, a boy-and-girl choir class that anybody could sign up for; I'm still friends with a group of girls, including my pal Lucy, who were tall and stood in the back row of Mixed Chorus. The school also had a girls' honors choir called Cantatrice which wore matching Qiana dresses (main benefit: you could ball them up and leave 'em in a paper bag in your locker) and sang competitively. We didn't dance, but we sure looked pretty in our shiny, wrinkle-resistant dresses up there on the risers. My high school actually had two competitive show choirs, one an all girls' group called New Spirit and the other a mixed chorus called Chanteurs. Both groups sang and danced up a storm, always in hideous matching outfits. (Shudder -- I just had a flashback to the hot pink, off-the-shoulder gowns of my junior year.) We occasionally sang a cappella sogs, but more often than not we had a piano accompanist. Very often, I was that accompanist -- although I loved to sing, my voice was never of the caliber of the best kids in choir, so I was forced to fall back on my years of piano lessons if I wanted to make it into the top group. I got pretty good at turning the pages of my music by myself, although I always preferred having a page-turner do it for me; Lucy says she never minded helping me out, but my sister Mary apparently was terrified of my wrath whenever she got stuck with the page-turner gig. I'm sure I never attacked anyone who was a bit late with the page flip, but it seems my frown may have been quite fierce.

There are a few differences between my high school show choirs and the one on Glee. First of all, I think there are only 10 or a dozen kids in Glee's choir, and that's pretty small for a competitive show choir; there were usually 15 to 20 kids in each of my show choirs, and some of the schools we competed against had even bigger groups. Second, every week both the glee club and all of its soloists manage to get the clearances to perform any song they want; that's probably because Fox has a legal department working away on that detail, whereas at my high school there was only Mr. Maxson, the choir director. Trust me, he never got us the rights to anything like "Rehab." Third, and this is the hugest difference, Glee's choir always seems to have a full rhythm and brass section at their disposal every day in class. On a daily basis, even the top choir at my high school had only . . . me. We added a bass player and drummer to the mix when we competed or put on our big end-of-year show, but usually it was just me plunking away at the old Yamaha upright. I'm a bit envious of the way my old choral department has evolved: I recently came across this video of last's year's Chanteurs performing, and it's a lot more like Glee than I remember!

If you're a fan of the choral sound but are looking for something a bit edgier than clean-cut kids singing safe arrangements of passe pop songs, check out Scala -- it's a 60-member Belgian girls' choir that performs ditties like "Teenage Dirtbag" and "I Touch Myself." Their new single, "Seashell," is very pretty.

Tomorrow is National Cupcake Day!

How will YOU celebrate?

A gift guide to worthy (but possibly overlooked) books

So the New York Times has released its list of Notable Books of 2009. The Millions is slowly unveiling its annual Year in Reading results. Both Amazon and Barnes & Noble have posted their "best of" shopping lists. Everywhere I see recommendations, and everywhere I see the same books over and over again. Some -- perhaps many -- of these books are noteworthy and worth reading, but it's tiresome looking at the same things again and again. Where are the recommendations for the small, the offbeat, the forgotten?

I have decided to fill the void with a few interesting titles that probably won't get much advertising space online or in glossy holiday catalogs. Check 'em out: you just might find something for that hard-to-shop-for person on your list.

"Fearless heroes... seductive dames... horrific villains... and thrilling drama! The artwork that appeared on the covers of pulp fiction magazines from the 1910s through the early 1950s was as sensationalistic, lurid -- and utterly delicious -- as the tales inside. Now, 30 of those stylized covers appear in this graphic gallery for you to color in any way you please."

"Life's little pitfalls can be a real drag: being dumped, fired, or left at the altar; spending Christmas, Valentine's Day, and your birthday all alone; slogging off to a 9 a.m. meeting with a hangover the size of Wisconsin; grappling with a never-ending visit from your crazy mother-in-law, children who won't stop screaming, or, worse, adult children who refuse to move out; reminding yourself to take deep, soothing breaths when you learn that your loaded geriatric husband who simply refuses to kick the bucket has managed to avert death's icy grasp yet again -- seriously, who hasn't been there? Where Emily Post might tell you to grin and bear it, Heather Whaley -- far more wisely -- encourages you to revel in the misery that is your life. Close the shutters, fire up the cooktop, and turn to the simplest of life's comforts: food. In this hilarious, tongue-in-cheek collection of real recipes, you'll be reminded that unlike fair-weather friends and a steady job, food will always be there for you. Filled with tasty recipes that you can make in the comfort of your own (darkened) kitchen, Eat Your Feelings will get you through any emotional roller-coaster: "It's Time to Settle Spaghetti Carbonara for Women in Their 'Thirties'," "Cinnamon-Spiced Apple Fritter for When Your Husband Ran Off with the Babysitter," "He Only Married You for his Green Card Chicken Salad," and "Twenty-nine and Still Can't Pay Your Rent Veggie Sandwich," to name a few. Illustrated with apt photos that add the perfect punch, you'll never think of your family favorites the same way again."


"Are you pressed for time or prone to procrastination? Do you hate to shop? Or maybe you simply dislike shopping for other people? Luckily, you've got your hands on the Swiss Army knife of presents-in-a-pinch. The Emergency Gift Book contains everything you need to acknowledge a special occasion whenever one comes out of freaking nowhere. Show how much you care with any of these fabulous offerings. FOR YOUR CRIBMATES: Grant your roommate a "naked day" with an enchanting stay-the-hell-out door sign. FOR A FRIEND WITH ISSUES: Dr. Papier, the world's leading finger-puppet psychologist, is literally "on hand" to listen any time of day. FOR THE GOOD CORPORATE CITIZEN: Award your fellow coworkers with merit badges for spreading good gossip and showing that jammed copier who's boss. FOR EVERYONE ELSE: IOU coupons to guarantee your services for house-sitting, plant-sitting, babysitting, sitting by a sick bed, and dozens of other priceless favors. Promise now and pay out later!"


"The term witch-hunt is used today to describe everything from political scandals to school board shakeups, but its origins are far from casual. Long before Arthur Miller likened McCarthyism to the Salem witch trials, and long before those trials themselves, women and men were targeted by suspicious neighbors, accused of committing horrific crimes by supernatural means, scrutinized by magistrates, ministers, and jurymen, and summarily executed. The Enemy Within chronicles the most prominent witch-hunts of the Western world and shows how for two millenia the fear of witchcraft has fueled recurrent cycles of accusation, persecution, and purging. With the vision of a historian and the voice of a novelist, prize-winning author John Demos explores the far-reaching social, cultural, and psychological roots of the scourge that is witch-hunting, and reveals the dark side of communities driven to rid themselves of perceived evil, no matter what the human cost."


"In this delightfully witty, provocative book, literature professor and psychoanalyst Pierre Bayard argues that not having read a book need not be an impediment to having an interesting conversation about it. (In fact, sometimes reading the book is the worst thing you could do.) Using examples from such writers as Graham Greene, Oscar Wilde, Montaigne, and Umberto Eco, he describes the varieties of "non-reading" -- from books that you've never heard of to books that you've read and forgotten -- and offers advice on how to turn a sticky social situation into an occasion for creative brilliance."


"Disaster can strike at any time. Be one of the prepared few by following Kathy Harrison's practical plan for emergency self-sufficiancy. Learn how to evaluate, organize, and rotate your food supply; pack an evacuation kit; protect important documants from fire; develop a communications system; make nutritious soup with canned and dried pantry items; and entertain the kids for several television-free days. Everything you need to know to survive when public services fail is covered in this essential guide to family preparedness."

"There are three reasons why most people, although they have tried, won't keep a diary: 1) Not every day is very eventful. 2) It actually takes a lot of discipline to write. 3) In retrospect, many find what they have written embarrassing. Keel's Simple Diary offers structure for those who don't have time to wonder, making it easy to record life's moments. It gives the pleasure of a quick response and the sense that no matter what's wrong, more is right."


"Duncan and Lily, young and adrift in a prickly marriage and lackluster careers, flee Manhattan for the peaceful allure of a recently inherited crumbling Victorian home. But the two are left with little time to ponder the "he said, she said" failings of a relationship: On an upstate road miles shy of their house, a wild boar leaps to his death in front of their Saab -- an accident whose consequences will haunt them throughout the summer. Lily and Duncan arrive in the eccentric town of Osterhagen to discover the boar had a name: The Sovereign of the Deep Wood. That it was the town mascot. And, as the hapless urbanites are coerced into the vortex of tea socials, cannon fire, and communal history, they realize that the residents of the bizarre hamlet intend to seek justice for their fallen hero."


"Isabel Samaras -- a celebrated artist of today's Pop Surrealist scene -- has distinguished herself by applying maticulous technique and a sense of history to wry observations of contemporary pop culture. Best known for her riffs on the old masters, Samaras folds in familiar icons from classic TV shows, comic books, and movies to create imagery that is very much of the now. Any archetype, from the Bride of Frankenstein to Little Red Riding Hood, Gilligan to the Creature from the Black Lagoon, can find true love (or at least a sexy entanglement) in a Samaras painting, never failing to shock and delight with their portrayals of human folly and animal passion."


"My name is Ree. Some folks know me as the Pioneer Woman. The Pioneer Woman Cooks is a homespun collection of photography, rural stories, and scrumptious recipes that have defined my experience in the country. I share many of the delicious cowboy-tested recipes I've learned to make during my years as an accidental ranch wife -- including Rib-eye Steak with Whiskey Cream Sauce, Lasagna, Fried Chicken, Patsy's Blackberry Cobbler, and Cinnamon Rolls -- not to mention several "cowgirl-friendly" dishes, such as Sherried Tomato Soup, Olive Cheese Bread, and Creme Brulee. I show my recipes in full-color, step-by-step detail, so it's as easy as pie to follow along."

"Write about your daydreams and nightmares in this bewitching journal featuring quotes and excerpts from the master of mystery and macabre, Edgar Allan Poe."

"This delightful collection of vintage-inspired patterns comes from Reprodepot -- the celebrated online fabric store. For this edition, Reprodepot founder Djerba Goldfinger has hand-selected her favorite homey designs. You'll find 225 patterns (75 designs in three different color combinations) ready to print out and craft up. Preview them in this book, and then reproduce your favorites over and over again using the enclosed disk and your own computer. Step-by-step directions for ten fabulous paper craft projects are included: an invitation, party decorations, fetching gift tags, and more. Charming? Yes. Handy? And how!"

"From the authors of the popular independent cookbook, Cooking with All Things Trader Joe's. This new collection of recipes includes favorites from their original book, favorites from their popular blog, and new recipes being unveiled for the first time. All in a handy, portable size -- perfect for taking to the store or planning meals on the go."

Before and after

Yesterday I did something I really hate to do: I cut apart a book for its pictures. We currently have a bunch of Los Angeles: Portrait of a City, a gorgeous new coffee table book, in stock, so the buyers decided I should write a copy out of inventory and have at it with my scissors to create an eye-catching display. It hurt, but if I didn't do it somebody else was going to.

I found a ton of great photos in this book, from migrant field workers in the 1890s to models posing in one of the original Case Study Houses. What I really loved seeing, however, were pictures of things that have changed over the years. I am a total sucker for before and after shots, and Los Angeles is without a doubt a city that has changed drastically over the past century.

Here are a couple of my favorite pictures, along with photos of what those sites look like now.

Have you ever been to Clifton's? It's right smack in downtown L.A., on Broadway, I believe, and inside it's this crazy woodland-themed cafeteria. It looks like some fantastic Disneyland dining establishment, with pine trees and logs and taxidermied animals all over the place. The food, your typical cafeteria fare, is fine but nothing to get excited about, but the decor is wild. Clearly the exterior used to reflect that same sensibility. I love the big "Pay what you wish" banner on the left; their motto is still "Dine free unless delighted." This picture was taken in 1935.

A more recent shot of Clifton's. *sigh* So much for whimsy in downtown Los Angeles.

This is the Universal Studios backlot, circa 1919. Universal has allowed visitors to see the backlot in action since 1915.

A modern picture from approximately the same angle. I wonder if this shot was taken before or after the 2008 fire that destroyed a large section of the backlot? I remember hearing that only hours after the fire was extinguished, Universal resumed its backlot tram tours and had details of the fire worked into the tour guides' spiel. Man, do I love Hollywood.

3 word review: Fantastic Mr. Fox

1. BEST
2. of
3. 2009!

(addendum: so far, anyway)